


someone must have sent you here to save my life

by SamBK



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24197068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamBK/pseuds/SamBK
Summary: missing moment 2x09
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	someone must have sent you here to save my life

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, I hope you can enjoy it anyway!  
> This is based on 2x09, it is clearly a "missing moment" but maybe also a "canonical divergence" because I consider them in love with each other, so I don't know lol

Jen asked Judy to punch her and then hit her with the car.  
To react. To do anything but go away from that house and abandon her.  
But instead Judy had torn the silence of the night with a scream and then, in tears, had started to hit herself.  
That view broke Jen's heart and she ran to the passenger door "Judy" said getting into the car and closing the door "come here" she pulled in Judy to herself and holded her tight "it's all right" she whispered while Judy clung to her, letting herself go to an endless cry "nothing is fine" she sobbed.  
Jen stroked her hair in an attempt to calm her.  
"It's just that I'm so tired," Judy said, "I can't take any more lies and secrets."  
"I know, I understand." Jen replied. Should she tell her something about Steve? That she was sorry? She didn't want to upset her again, she just wanted to hold Judy in her arms.  
"Judy, do you want to go home? We can't stay here."  
"Ok."

Jen helped Judy put on more comfortable clothes and take off her shoes. Because Judy was like drunk without drinking. She was not there. She was there but wasn't there. Jen thought she must be exhausted.  
She helped her go to bed and arranged the blankets perfectly. Judy immediately closed her eyes as if she had been waiting for this moment forever and Jen smiled. She moved her hair away from Judy's face. She was so beautiful. And she didn't deserve her.  
"Jen" called the brunette.  
"Yeah?"  
"Sleep with me"  
"I don't think that's a good idea" not after the things they said.  
"Don't leave me alone please"  
Don't leave her alone? Jen laughed. It was she who had been afraid to see her go away that night and never come back. But again, Judy couldn't be mean. Not as much as she does. It was the kindest, prettiest and most fragile being on earth.  
 _You are the one who should leave me alone._  
Jen never wanted to hurt her again.  
She went to the other side of the bed and lay down on the covers.  
Judy turned to her side and came over to curl up on her. That closeness hurt Jen a little.  
"Judy I-"  
"I just want to sleep with you."  
"Maybe we should talk about what happened"  
"We can talk about it tomorrow."  
Jen sighed "maybe there won't be a tomorrow" she whispered and thought for a moment that Judy didn't even hear her. Until the brunette opened her eyes "what?" She asked nervously, sat down ruining the perfect job that Jen had done with the blankets "what does that mean?"  
Fuck. She made her upset . Again.  
Fuck's sake Jen hated herself.  
"Nothing. It means nothing" imitated her position and stroked her arms to comfort her "let's try to sleep"  
"No no, Jen, enough! Enough with the lies tell me what you meant"  
"I'll tell you but you have to calm down"  
so Judy lay down and Jen took the opportunity to get into the covers. She also placed them on top of Judy and then leaned on the pillow, looking at the brunette in front of her.  
"So what did you mean?" Judy asked.  
"That won't be a tomorrow because ... I'll go to the police tomorrow."  
"No." She tried to get up again but Jen stretched out her arm on her hip and hold her down "don't argue Judy please I have already decided."  
"Yeah well I won't let you"  
"Yes, because I killed your ex-husband for no reason."  
"You had a reason."  
"It wasn't a good reason, you don't kill people because you lose patience."  
"But he told you those things-"  
"No. Judy, no!" Jen turned her head to the ceiling not to let Judy see her tears. But Judy understood without seeing and came a little closer to embrace her. She put his face in the hollow of her neck. Jen was tired of resisting and playing the part of the heartless bitch, so she let herself go and tighten Judy. They stayed like that without saying anything for several minutes.  
"Judy," Jen said later to find out if the brunette was sleeping.  
"Hmm"  
"Earlier when you said that the night Steve died I saved your life ... were you serious?"  
"Yes"  
Jen hugged her tighter "you were killing yourself because of me, weren't you? Because I told you to die." It frightened her to have such a decisive weight on Judy's life.  
"You were the person who gave me a family who loved me. I couldn't imagine my life without you and your children. "  
"Our." corrected Jen "our boys."  
Judy smiled at those words "you told me _I could make it better_ by getting out of the way so I was doing it."  
"My God you are out of your mind Judy" she moved just to make her understand that she could untangle that embrace. Judy moved to look at her.  
"Don't ever think about killing yourself because of me okay? Whatever happens, you have to live for yourself "  
"I'm not good at living for myself"  
"You must learn to do it."  
Judy sighed "I was serious, Jen. You saved my life, now I will save yours and Charlie's by taking the blame for Steve."  
Jen nodded "we'll think about it tomorrow, okay?" She spread her arms and Judy snuggled up again.

It was almost dawn when Jen made sure Judy slept so she could sneak away. She wrote three letters addressed to her children and Judy. As she left them on Judy's bed, she took a moment to look at the brunette who was sleeping peacefully "you've already saved my life" she whispered leaving a light kiss on her head "I'm sorry for Steve. For all."

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from new Sia's song "Saved My Life" that I recommend cause Sia is amazing and this song remind me of Jen and Judy. Thanks for reading :)


End file.
